GCP – Episode 96 - 07/20
Interview with Frictional Games - 07/14
GCP – Episode 95 - 07/13
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PC Gaming Phrases that Need to Go Away ForeverPosted January 25, 2010, Comments (20) |
PC gaming terms showing up on corporate mugs?
Time to abandon.
It’s our sad and bitter nature to abuse and neglect that which was once hallowed or unique. PC gaming expressions are, by far, no exception. What was once priceless and witty becomes strip-mined, overindulged, and mass produced to nausea. PC gamers often become the belching consuming industries to the forests of phraseology. But it’s never too late for reclamation and atonement. Let us learn from our past and prevent extended proliferation of that which used to be hilarious and/or clever, but is now terrible! Together, through tutelage, we’ll make a better PC gaming world. But in the honor of literary semi-succinctness, let’s keep the analysis and education to the top four contemporary atrocities. And here they are.
There was a time where this was a sharp and impressive term, and when aptly activated, devastating to the unfortunate recipient. No longer. I now positively hate this maxim. If ‘Epic Fail’ were a living breathing entity, I’d gladly place upon its fleshy tender head a baseball bat of hefty swinging. No vile gaming pop-culture utterance has become more clichéd and utterly expended than the Epic Fail. Worse yet, the Epic Fail’s vile subversive influences have leaked and entrenched itself into the standard world’s day-to-day vernacular. It’s become totally fine and proper to head into the local Ace Hardware store only to stumble across a couple of grandmas accidentally dropping a hammer onto a sack of light bulbs and hearing one of them say, “Oh my goodness! Epic Fail Gladys!”
For crap’s sakes fellow gamers, is this where the hands on the clock have come to rest? I’m imploring you all— say anything except these godforsaken stale words when a notable foul-up occurs. Make filthy love to a thesaurus or something; anything to prevent further use. I mean yeah, I realize that neglecting to include dedicated server support in Modern Warfare 2 was a bad, bad move. But why can’t we call it a monumental catastrophe, or perhaps a gargantuan error, or even a debacle of biblical proportions? Oh and its grating antonym “Great Success” needs to go the hell away also. Repeat after me brethren, “There is no Epic Fail, only Zuel.”
This adage was never funny, nor was it ever particularly compelling—two very good reasons to retire the phrase outright. And don’t even get me started on the nonsensical “Pwned.” Furthermore, it’s past tense people!! I’ll capitulate that upon first irritable glance, it looks okay in all-chat after the scoreboard reads 105 – 0. But consider it in the actual context of the delivery. You used to own something and/or someone, indicating you don’t own it/them anymore. Ohhh sick burn!
Not sinking in? Okay here, maybe the below conversation between Joe and Bill will prove more palpable.
“Wow Bill. I totally owned that hot rod.”
“Really, you did?”
“Yep. Owned it big time.”
“Yeah? That’s cool. But, uh… what happened?”
“Well, I quit my part-time job at McDonald’s as a burger jockey and applied for welfare so I could sleep in everyday until 3pm, but then I couldn’t make the payments anymore, and the bank repossessed it. So I don’t own it anymore. But I used to own it! Yeah that was great, but not as great as the concept of still owning it.”
“Bummer.”
How is this dinosaur of diction still walking the earth? Gamers have hunted this damned term to extinction, and yet again and again this poor specimen of a creature finds a way to survive, and even mutate. This defies logic, and more frustratingly, sanity. Can we as the PC gaming community truly be so creatively shallow? Have we not concocted anything to take its place after 278 years of online usage? Multitudes of 4chan memes, buckets of technological IRC advances, Ventrilo, and still the “Noob” placeholder thrives? Pathetic. The absolute travesty is that some folks still find this phrase comical and appropriate in application, all the while severely lacking any tangible qualities of social and societal existence themselves.
Example: “hahaa hey SuX0r90, checck out this dummie who sliyghtly mistimed tha rocketjump. Hes such a NOOB!!1!1 Lol Uur such a noob.”
Ho hoooo you got me good you bastard! Man that stings. Well, the Noob part doesn’t hurt, but rather the “I’m a 23 year-old legacy unemployed North American native, I don’t understand the English language, and ‘Noob’ is the ultimate fresh online insult because I’m verifiably brain-damaged, and humanity is officially un-savable” dynamic. Yeah. That part stings.
It takes a big man to admit to his mistakes, which is probably why I never admit to my mistakes (Oh I’m sorry, probably why I never get Pwned on my Epic Fails). But under the GL HF category, I shall make an allowance: in my Team Fortress 2 days of yore, I typed out these five cursed characters with astonishing regularity. Why? Because I’m boring and unimaginative, and I find it entirely too difficult and exhausting to extend my famished fingers across the vast, vast frontier of my keyboard and spell out the goddamn words. Is it so much to ask? Apparently, yes. Yes it is. Because this stupid stump of a non-coherent sentence permeates the PC gaming multiplayer wilds like ants over sugared-honey.
Stop it! Look, it’s pretty spectacular you want me to Gather Linen and Handle Figurines, but can’t you grant me the kind favor of articulating just a bit? See, when you type out a GL HF that quick and hit enter? It tells me you really don’t wish me “good luck and have fun.” It tells me you consider the paltry abbreviation an annoying yet mandatory task, and rather than extend the letters into actual words, you’d just as soon spend those extra gained 17 seconds scratching your testicles instead. You might as well just send me a picture of a middle finger. No more GL HF! Just tell me good luck, or have fun, or when you’re feeling truly bold: both. It’s not hard. Got it? No? Newb.
Ahh, the thesaurus. That was a good summer.
There’s no better mistress! And the dictionary’s just a slut, so she can go to hell.
in the words of Thesaurus, dictionary is a call girl, concubine, courtesan, fallen woman, floozy, hooker, hussy, lady of the evening, loose woman, nymphomaniac, painted woman, slut, streetwalker, strumpet, tramp, whore…
Haha see? Let’s see little miss Dictionary top THAT. Face it Dict, spellcheck has rendered you obsolete and loose.
Nice list, Chris. I especially agree with “noob” needing to go away. I love how on the first day of the Star Trek Online closed beta, people were calling those with questions a “f*&^% n00b” um, hello the game’s been available to play for 24 hours!
I might respectfully suggest that “hax/haxor” be added to list, primarily because in my experience it seems that the word “haxor” is used almost exclusively by people who assume that a shot, move, etc. that they witness and cannot do themselves could not *possibly* be the result of someone being more skilled, rather, it must be the result of a software based cheat. To be sure, there are people cheating, but is a pathetic, cheating douche really going to care if you call him out on it? No, thus there is no need for the word.
Haxor damn near made the list, for all the reasons you accurately specify. Seriously considering a sequel article to expound upon the remaining oppressors (I DID cheat and sneak FTW in through the image though. Just couldn’t let that one slide).
When I was a kid, I remember first person shooters where games usually had stuff like “Nice shot”, “great game” , “bs=== beautiful shot” “good job” stuff like that when something amazing happen.
Now it’s all just excuses or accusations or complaining about the game.
See, the problem with GL HF in your situation is that you were using it in an FPS. The only time I use it or any time I’ve heard people use it is when they have joined a multiplayer RTS where there is a short countdown once everyone is ready and you only have enough time to type in HL GF. So it is the context of which that phrase is wrong, not the phrase itself.
The context doesn’t matter. It’s the nature of the phrase itself. Telling someone you wish to have fun with something like “GL HF” is showing that you really don’t care. Effortless.
Yep, my point exactly. Most people, with the exception of me, can type out at least a semi-coherent thoughtful sentence in under 10 seconds.
I don’t know, I think gl hf, as well as gg are more of gaming courtesy than to show you actually care. Like when (if) your mom ever made you say “may I please” before giving you whatever you wanted to lay your grubby hands on.
Totally agree on the others though.
The last time I said “GL HF” was playing Starcraft in the 8th grade or something. And I’m sure the game title was “3v3 BGH NO LAG CABLE ONLY!!!!”
Actually, I kinda miss those days.
I use words like this to my customers in my support chat at hostedgameservers.com LOL
So have we become 4chan now? When our own jargon leaks into the main stream we have to shun it and act as if we are too good to use the terms anymore.
Why should we care? Most colloquialisms started as some sort of esoteric jargon somewhere. We utter something that started as inside speak every day…we probably don’t even know it.
One phrase I’d like to see go away is “raped.” Maybe it’s just me being over-sensitive, but as an avid gamer I do care about how the world perceives us. And getting beaten in a game is not like getting raped. At all.
I agree wholeheartedly. Terms that relate to such unethical issues of that nature aren’t needed by any means. Surely there’s another world in the English language that can replace it.
Destroyed, decimated, obliterated, annhilated
Words which express a lopsided defeat.
dominated is the only one I can think of that would indicate more of a control aspect though.
actually “brutalized” is probably the closest word to “raped” without being so explicit.
qq moar n00b