A Survivor’s Last Memoirs: L4D Add-on Campaigns

Are you a nihilist?  Does the smell of gunpowder turn you on?  Have you been craving blood lately?  If you’ve answered “Yes” to all the above, you no doubt find yourself in a golden age, otherwise known as the apocalypse.  Left 4 Dead 2 just released, and will finely satiate your paranoid, zombie-killing bloodlust with a side order of bile.  And if you just can’t get enough from the sequel, now’s perhaps the best time to play last year’s zombie slaughter-fest from Valve, Left 4 Dead.  Dozens of freely available, user-made add-on campaigns for L4D describe a vast world of Zeds.

I’ve played through several campaigns, and out of all my exploits, I now deliver to you the very best tales.  Memoirs from a true survivor tell each tale best.  Heed his testimony, choose your weapon, mix up your finest fiery cocktail, and join me on some fine anti-zombie crusades.

Out of all add-on campaigns, this one looks the most similar to Valve’s L4D style. In fact, it even starts in a city level much like that of No Mercy or Dead Air. The crescendo moments also don’t particularly add any original events, though the path-opening zombie attractions excite nonetheless. The most creative level design starts with the hotel; all the interconnected rooms within provide multiple ways through and often hide boss infected for some nasty surprise encounters. You’ll eventually make your way to a multi-tiered prison that makes zombie killing all the more interesting, especially if a Tank awaits in the cellblock. Death Row’s short four-level campaign feels refreshingly varied, and makes a great first taste for those looking for new user-made L4D experiences.

No cell could hold these monsters.

From the Memoirs:

As we hoofed our way here, we passed through a nice hotel just a click south of the sticks;  there was no vacancy for anyone except Charlie.  When this whole zombie craze blows over, I think I’ll book a stay there sometime. Spend some hard earned leave; recuperate some R & R.  We force-marched it through more city streets (those alleyways are murder-holes), we low-crawled it through the mosquito-plagued humid woods, and a Smoker damn near tore the cigarette right out of my mouth all so we could find rescue in a prison? What do these baby civvies call it? That’s right…ironic.  And I’ll be damned if I didn’t spend my whole life making up for that one mistake.  Sure, now we’re obliterating the criminally undead, but coming here rustles up flashbacks best forgotten.  Good idea, Francis.  Wouldn’t be surprised if he felt right at home here. Hell, if he ever wore camouflage, wouldn’t be surprised if he was stationed here.

If you’re willing to commit to an extensive campaign of epic proportions, you’d best answer when Vienna calls. Starting out at the top of a department store, you’ll explore a large square footage of vertical space as you search each floor for useful pipe bombs and molotovs. You’ll certainly need as much weaponry and ammo caches as possible because the incredibly long trek down the train-car filled tunnel will certainly test your survival skills against several infected hordes.

Despite their size, environments consistently overflow with salient European landmarks and maintain a brisk pace. Highly creative combinations of objects and triggers make for some of the most original and climactic crescendo events I’ve seen in a L4D campaign. Hit a L4D2-esque trigger to briefly open a door, and you’d better gun it. Face the horde on the other side head on or else you’ll need to do it all over again. Hit a fuse box and get to the train! You’ll love every bit of the 2-3 hours the campaign takes on Advanced difficulty; and if you can tackle it on Expert, I’ll be very impressed. Despite its great pacing, Vienna Calling is still far too long, though it definitely makes a more fulfilling experience than any of Valve’s official campaigns.

“No, Zoey, I said ‘Check out the European ads.’ Honest.”

From the Memoirs:

When they broke the news that we were deploying to Vienna, I didn’t expect the damn 3 hour tour. I mean, it’s the apocalypse – not some damn skirmish on hamburger hill, and all Zoey could think about was shopping at some fancy foreign department store. They cart my ass halfway ’round the globe, all the way across the pond, and they still drag me through a maze of catacombs and a whole damn mile’s worth of subway. My bones ached by the time we finally took that train ride; old bits of un-escaped shrapnel tickled my cartilage – not so friendly reminders of a few minor missteps not unlike this one. I tried to reason with these green rookies: the longer we humped it, the more likely we’d get dead. Jesus, I wish my ol’ Bravo company had as many Tanks as we saw today. At least this fine piece a city brings back memories of better days. No, not from WWII, smartass. I ain’t that old.

To your left, beyond the fence, you’ll see the entire path of the amazing campaign that lies ahead.  In the distance, a lighthouse spires with hope and the promise of rescue.  A disheveled prison, however, lies ahead.  You stop suddenly; at the edge of the gaping crater, you see the lay of the complex with several levels littered with the loitering hunger of the undead.  Take leaps of faith down each floor for the quick path.  Or explore cautiously to leave a bloody wake of zombies.  Through the prison and the following shipping yard, diverse, varying environments brim with detail and beckon with boss infected at every bend.

The heart of your survival journey lies within a massive shipping vessel, a barely buoyant path through to the lighthouse beyond.   A near-nausea inducing display of rumbling, creaking, and listing creates a highly impressive level design, as harsh angles add an interesting dimension to your movement and shooting.  Finally you reach the finale with the call for help at the lighthouse peak, and rescue all the way back down on the docks.  No hiding in a closet for you.  Bash the zombies, fight the Tanks, but with every lull in the onslaught, you’d better keep moving down the cliff, hold at each ammo cache, and make it to rescue.  Death Aboard’s finale, with its constantly compelled movement and action, makes for the most climactic and dynamic finales ever made, and a fitting end for perhaps the best L4D campaign yet.

The finale requires the most intense run of your life.

From the Memoirs:

Another prison, another botched mission, another zombie massacre. I can’t stand the sight of another cell block, but dang: this one was broken down and open enough to let us choose and pick our way through. For myself, I’ll take the fastest. But hellfire an’ brimstone, of course we had to saunter right onto a lopsided floating deathtrap. You think these hips were built for angles? And there I was, just climbing a ladder, when a goddamn car near takes my head off, and made such a racket every mangy son-of-a-bitch onboard wanted to join-up and enlist in our squad. Scared the bejeesus out of me! Made Da Nang look like easy-street. Sure glad I never joined the Navy. Didn’t help that we then had to climb up to a lighthouse on top of a cliff. And what do we end up with? A balloon?! That ain’t no chopper- that’s a giant un-lit Molotov cocktail. Too much goddamned excitement for this ol’ war-dog. All we need now is for Francis to start his yammering – this thing could use some more hot air.

Though an official downloadable campaign from Valve, Crash Course still provides a great final experience for us survivors before we all head on south in L4D2. Instead of designing the long, narrow and linear levels typical of L4D, Valve gives us a taste of the much wider, expansive levels of L4D2. And the exciting finale forces survivors to stay on their toes, as they’ll have to run out, risk their lives, and fix the vital generator when it breaks down. Any experienced zombie-killing group can easily blitzkrieg down a single path through the campaign in less than 30 minutes, especially since the AI Director can’t spawn the boss infected as effectively on wide maps. But the campaign’s shortness further underscores the fun of replaying, so players can try out different paths, find all the humorous graffiti, and hear the amusing character reactions to different areas.

Only Valve can provide new hilarious, pulpy graffiti and dialogue.

From the Memoirs:

If that genius was my Huey pilot in the war, I’d be pushin’ up daisies in Arlington right about now. Good news is we ‘landed’ in a decent part of town. LZ was cold. We found our way without too much trouble. There was once a time those godforsaken Witches and Tanks could get the better of me. From what I’ve seen here, these zombies wouldn’t last a day back in ‘Nam. Intel has it there’s much better targets down south. I defended these stars and stripes, dammit! Watched soul after soul take two to the head and one to the chest to keep this country free. I won’t let these abominations tear it to shit before I get a dog tag between my teeth. Christ, Francis is an ass… I don’t care how much he hates shrimp gumbo, we’re hightailing this bus down along the mighty Mississippi if I have anything to say about it.